The greyish tones start blending in with the red eyes in the sky outside your window right now.
Now you know I look at the windows not because I don’t want to look at you, it’s jus’ that I’m afraid that when I stop looking everywhere I’ll be long gone somewhere. That the world outside your room is just too enormous for me to handle, so I don’t want to leave at all.
In the meanwhile you smoke a cigarette, stretch and dress quickly because we have to go and I don’t want to.
For some reason I know I’ll leave. But it’s not the same type of departure that I feel everytime I leave because maybe after today I won’t be coming back to you. It will either be me or you.
No heart should be forced to work that way ever. Because when you think by the minute I run an hour, and I look too much ahead into things that maybe, are not really that way. So I shift my view to look at you. You’re my sun as your rays blind me into an oblivion of the way things really seem to be. So I forget everything for some more time, stretch, stretch, stretch the afternoon into infinity.
And we walk into clouds, not those cheesy clouds in the sky. The ones you find when you lay in the ground looking to the sky with all the time ahead of you. Not the ones you walk over when you’re dead. Because the scenery is more impressive than you can imagine. The wind blows, obviously, shifts and whiffs, back and forth, whirls, shakes and rounds the place.
And in some moment the wind becomes your sweet voice telling me to wake up. I think I fell asleep, ‘ats for sure. I usually don’t notice when I wake up because reality seems so blurry when your dreams are not that far away from what your life is. The tone of your voice goes in crescendo as I don’t react. Sometimes I’m somehow comatose I know and it scares you quite much. I’m somehow ghostly, and you don’t seem to realise because I’m white, so is my flesh and the blood still runs inside it.
- Sweetie, are you awake?- she says to me.
I’m up, I’m up, honey. Somehow I’m up. I’m up for everything when I shouldn’t and you would see. Let me gather some of this, then. Pick up the pieces of the puzzle i’ve created. Or at least, lay there and look at you for a bit more. Let me…
