Well. It has been quite a while now.
You were in my list and I decided to delete you because I thought I would eventually forget everything, forget us. And much has come and go since then. I don’t know where you are, how you are. I hope you’re okay.
See, I really miss you, but I can’t confess. I can’t drop on my knees too, because I know I fucked it up bigtime… and I know after all of this you won’t forgive me, not even care about it. Now you have seen the real me, the worst of, and you won’t look at my face. I feel disgraced by now.
And keeping sight of it all in my mind: your eyes, your hair. How good you smelled (how good you must be smelling now), how privileged I was to smell your neck slowly down the way.
God and the Devil must be laughing at me right now.
And your kiss. To you, it lasted five seconds, to me, a lifetime. Now there’s sorrow in my eyes.
I know we disagreed on the length of it. And some part of me wishes I had never taken that kiss. Some other part says it was something bound to happen, then nods its head and said, oh well.
Now I have like a billion wonders on my head, wonder this, wonder that.
Dammit.
I miss you, you know.
Something I know alright: we won’t talk. You won’t.
Published
on Monday, December 13th, 2004 at 1:56 am
